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Things to Know About Me Before Entering My World

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about relationships and love and what those things can mean. And I've been reading a lot articles with titles like "An open letter to the person who loves someone with anxiety" and I'm continually frustrated. Because none of these essays quite fit me. But also; because none of these essays talk about friends.  We so often assume that romantic love and friend love are dramatically different. When in reality; a romantic partner should just be a friend on steroids. So I'm going to write my own; one that includes things a romantic partner should know; but are also things that apply to every type of close relationship in my life. Bear with me; I'm not an English major for a reason.


Things to know about me before entering my world:

1) My nervous habit is to babble. 
Seriously; the first time you spend time with me (especially if it's one on one or in a date type setting) I will not shut up. I will talk and talk and talk. Probably about topics that are not appropriate for whatever we are doing. I can't control it. It doesn't mean I don't want you to talk; I do. Feel free to tell me to shut up at any point.

2) I'm not as confident and bold as I seem.
Because I am so chatty; people often assume I'm very confident. And don't get me wrong: I am aware that I am awesome. But I'm not immune to life's insecurities. So don't hesitate to reaffirm our relationship sometimes. I will appreciate it more than you could possibly know. But also, don't think that telling me I'm beautiful enough times will turn me to putty in your arms. I will compliment you; but they will only be very sincere compliments. I mean what I say; so I expect you to do the same.

3) I think love manifests itself best in the ability to tease each other. 
My Grandpa is notorious for teasing me to no end. And when I ask him why he does it so much he always responds with "how would you know I love you if I didn't tease you?" I took this to heart. If I feel comfortable enough with you to give you crap; I probably like you quite a bit.

4) I'm picky. 
I am 100% comfortable spending most of my time alone. That means that if I voluntarily spend time with you; I like you. You should never question my loyalty and friendship. I don't spend my time with people I don't like because I would usually rather spend my time alone. This also means that I am as loyal as a dog. Because once I find what I'm looking for; a friend; a romantic partner; and support system; I don't see a point in continuing to look. In this same vein of thinking you shouldn't be alarmed if I turn down your invite for a drink to stay in and drink half a bottle of wine alone in my bath tub. Sometimes; I just need to spoil myself.

5) You probably already know all of these things. 
If you are someone who is going to be in my world for a lengthy period of time; you probably are already aware of all of these quirks. You won't need an instruction manual for how to handle me (which is good because I don't think even I know how to do that). I don't have to tell you any of this. If you want to be in my life none of these things matter to you. And your quirks won't matter to me. (Unless you have something against chocolate or peanut butter then we can't be friends)

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