Disclaimer *As I sit here, procrastinating as usual, I've realized something; I have a lot of thoughts; and only 99% of them are irrelevant and boring. I also realized, that I almost never share them with other humans. SO...I'm hopping on the blogging bandwagon. I won't promise greatness, or regularity in posts, but I think the general concept is good and maybe healthy. So let's just hop right in. *
Feelings are weird. They are irrational. They're unpredictable. They can be amazing. They can also be the world's most awful thing in the whole world. And worst of all; we are all expected to just pretend the crappy ones, don't even exist.
Yeah, pretty ridiculous right? But think about it; when was the last time someone asked how you were and you respond with anything other than; "good, fine, okay, great..etc". If you are anything like me, you can't even remember. BUT I can guarantee you that I have A LOT of other feelings. Like, a lot. And I don't think it is healthy to repress them.
Let's take the other night for example. I went to work as usual, came home, sat down on my couch, turned on the news, and while checking Facebook for the umpteenth time that day, I realized that I was not in a very good mood, and that I was actually feeling kind of sad. However, when I received a text from one of my good friends asking how I was and how my day had went, I didn't respond with "Eh, I'm kind of actually sad" or "Dude, I feel like crap". Not because this person and I don't have the kind of relationship where I could say those things, we do. Not because I didn't want to talk about it, or because I didn't want to deal with it. But because I was embarrassed by how I felt. Nothing had happened that made my day bad, nothing triggered my sadness, I had no rational for my bad mood at all. So, I jut said, "I'm good, how are you?" and went about ordering some take out and finding a Nicholas Sparks's movie to listen to while I did my homework.
Now, nothing life changing happened because I didn't tell my friend that I was sad. But, here's what did happen; I spent another night eating food I shouldn't eat, watching movies, and getting angry at myself for feeling sad. I woke up the next day feeling moderately better, but still annoyed that I was upset, and went through the motions all over again. A lot of people would respond to this with well "Lacie, that's what life is, grow up and deal with it." Or "why didn't you just decide to stop being sad?" Or "So what, talking to someone about it wouldn't have changed anything." But it could have changed something! I could have not wasted a perfectly good night being angry at myself for being sad and instead decided to just appreciate the awesome cry I had instead. WHAT A WASTE OF ENERGY.
Being sad is a natural human emotion. Triggered by a change in the chemical levels in our brain. So why do we think it is such a bad thing!? Or something that we can control? Why is it so taboo, to be sad? Why is it such a bad thing to just let the tears flow and keep the tissues a commin'? Think of how much better my night could have been if I had responded with "I'm irrationally sad tonight." and let my friend cheer me up, or even just acknowledged my feelings and let myself have a good healthy ugly cry, without getting angry at myself for feeling that way. Sometimes, we perpetuate our sucky emotions by being upset with ourselves for having them.
I guess what I'm really saying, is it is okay to have emotions! It is okay to be upset, and it is okay to sometimes not have a reason for being upset! Stop forcing yourself to be happy. You aren't weak because you are sad. You aren't stupid because you are angry. You aren't crazy because you care. And you certainly aren't alone in having irrational emotions. Sometimes we all, just have a lot of feelings.
Comments
Post a Comment