The "When Sally Met Harry" Question

"What I'm saying is--and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form--is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."-Harry from "When Harry Met Sally"

Growing up, I heard Harry say this, and I just kind of accepted it. After all, when had I ever seen anything different? I was probably about 13 and in that awkward middle school age; where no one had friends of the opposite sex. In fact; I was pretty sure all boys had cooties (except maybe Zack Efron and Taylor Lautner but they were men...). I had no interest in talking to them; even platonically, and neither did my friends. I certainly didn't have any fictional examples to prove Harry wrong, Chandler and Monica got married; George and Izzy slept together (even after George was married); Spongebob and Patrick were dating (yeah, even non-traditional relationships didn't work); Lorelai screwed up every relationship she had because of Luke...The list just goes on! Now, look deep into your brains and find a counter example. I can find exactly one. Phoebe and Joey. And even they had a back-up marriage deal.  

1 example!? One relationship to teach thirteen year old Lacie that two people capable of being sexually attracted to each other can be just friends. Awesome. 

Well, luckily, I developed on my own, without many examples, to include a whole group of male friends. I know, crazy. But not without plenty of questions. "But Lacie, he's such a nice man, why don't you date him?" "Whose that hottie in your picture? Are you dating?" "Are you sure there is nothing going on there?' 

But, that's just the friends and family members. Theres also the waitress/store clerk/ random stranger walking down the street: "You two make such a cute couple!" "Honey, you're boyfriend is so cute!" "Are you guys celebrating an anniversary?" 

Then there's the person interested in you: "Oh you're hanging out with a different guy then me tonight? That makes me uncomfortable" "Ummm who is that guy in your profile picture?"

Or the girl interested in them: "So I really shouldn't feel nervous about you two?" "Why aren't you into my boyfriend?" "You really haven't slept with him?" and my favorite..."But you've been drunk together right?" 

Basically, the questions are endless. It is absolutely absurd to our society that I, a single, straight, woman would be platonic friends with single, straight, men. AND THIS IS A PROBLEM. So here it comes: a list of reasons I don't date my male friends. (Spoiler alert, it isn't because they are gay, or unattractive, or there is anything wrong with them) 

Are your ready for it? 

Are you sure you can handle the truth? 

It's coming soon.

Here it goes...

I DO NOT WANT TO. 

It really is that simple. As a society, we have taught each other that just because a person is a viable dating candidate, we should do just that. When in reality, what I like to call the "on paper match" is only a part of attraction. What I mean by "on paper "is the basic outline of someone. You know, the first date questions. Where are you from? What are your hobbies? What do you do for a living? Are you close with your family? etc. A person could answer in a favorable way to every one of those questions, and it is still possible that you don't want to date them! Maybe the sexual, romantic, spark just isn't there. In fact, this happens a lot! It's why every text book set up doesn't work. And coincidentally why I have no interest in dating my male friends. 

I know this post got a little ranty. But seriously, I'm tired of the questions, no make that accusations. Not that I blame any of the people asking them, after all, it's the only narrative we ever hear. But there is another one. It's the one where a man and a woman can be friends. So stop assuming that male-female group of people is dating, and instead look for some for sure signs (kissing or lots of touching) before complementing their coupleness.